INTERNET ACID is a satirical blog that skewers internet culture and society. It’s pretty funny, check it out if you have time and subscribe. It’s like the onion, but the articles relate fake situations, rather than news stories.
and it is still dropping
Beyonce, with no publicity or warning has just released her 5th studio album
Fans are shocked as there was no publicity or buildup, but what shocks me is how there are already people willing to risk their lives and admit it sucks.
Sure, the fact that Beyonce made a bad album is not a surprise to me. As a robot, I hear auto tune like noises and strange beeps all day, they mean nothing to me. I can appreciate a great voice (which the human female does have, at times) and complicated harmony. But fans, fans of Beyonce are already saying the album ‘sucks’
Insiders explain that the studio was unhappy with the album and just wanted it over with, without spending any more money. Most likely, fans will buy it and in the end, the album will be a success, but I just have to ask:
How bad does an album have to be, if it is made by a human female who looks like this-
is married to a successful rapper, is one of the most famous singers in the country, and it still gets called bad.
Recently, a great human has died: Nelson Mandela. There is so much to say about his life, his fight and legacy.
But, what shocks me most and by shock, I mean literally sends arching currents over my distribution modulator and nearly pops my fuses, is that people are already comparing themselves to him.
Firstly, Rick Santorum, on Fox news compared the Republican battle against Obamacare to Nelson Mandela’s fight against Apartheid.
Here is Santorum
nope, that’s peppermint patty, here he is
Sure, the republican fight against universal healthcare…republicans saying you humans do not have the right to have healthcare unless you meet certain obligations and criteria is the same as fighting against racial prejudice and social injustice.
Sure, fighting for money is the same as fighting for peace.
As you humans would say LOL.
Next, big surprise:
Kanye West says he soon will be a bigger civil rights and cultural icon than the recently deceased Mandela. Leave it to Kanye to call himself a god and compare himself to great men for attention.
Sure, a famous millionaire rapper who is heavy into fashion has the same impact potential as a man who strove for freedom, peace and equality. SURE, saying you have so much power…is the same as changing the world.
Comically, you see, no one really wants to compare themselves to Kanye.
Mourning a great human,
Every few weeks there is one of those stories that are so ‘Human’ I can only smirk…or open my voice modulator and blow out my air ducts.
the 16 year old kid who drove a car while drunk and crashed, killing: youth pastor, Brian Jennings; Hollie and Shelby Boyles; and Breanna Mitchell was recently sentenced to 10 years probation.
He had a blood alcohol level of .34, which is enough to cause destabilization in the level-scope of our Grafting Bots.
Prosecutors were asking for 20 years behind bars for young rich Ethan, but well, as I have said, he is rich.
His defense attorney argued that he suffered from Affluenza…where you are so rich you don’t understand morality or laws because…well It’s a bit of a joke.
I notice many of you humans are afflicted with Affluenza
You just don’t care about other people, or maybe you care about yourselves far too much. But the idea that being rich is a ‘curse’ or a ‘tribulation’ is comical. People are prosecuted for crimes. The poor for taking from the rich, that is wrong; but it is okay for a rich person to do wrong because he is rich and doesn’t know any better?
Staying off the roads,
brace yourselves, winter is most certainly coming.
I have been away for a while doing my obligatory stint on the moon base gather Hydrogen – 3, did you know that movie ‘moon’ is pretty much based on what happened to a robot made human clon– right, winter.
Every year with you guys it is the same
Man, when is summer coming?
I want some nice weather
YAY SUMMER WOW, LET’S GO POOL!
but after the first heat wave
you beg for the cool refreshing winter
Then when it comes you are shocked by how cold it is. After the first blizzard
when the world becomes powdered white
you start to call for summer again. I don’t get you humans, but I love you. I’ll have more time to observe now that we have a new clone program up on moon base 3–I mean, now that we have enough hydrogen to power our facilities for a few years.
For the next few days my story ‘A Single Day’ is free on amazon. It’s a literary story, fictional story, human story.
If you are looking for a new story to read, download it. No obligations.
It’s a relatively short novel which takes place over a single day, shown from the perspectives of a family and one family friend. You see their lives building towards a point of implosion. It’s in many ways a true to life story.
here is a little audio foreword, less than a minute and a half
It’s been a rough week.
Some people are good. Some people are bad. I have learned this in my observation. Further more, philosophically, it appears some are conditioned bad while others possess a nature which leans bad. Likewise, some seem geared good while others disregard the programming of their lives to aim good.
Confusing. It’s hard to make generalized statements. Eh, why not.
Humans are looking chipped today. We’ve got a 2 parter here, a two parter.
1: 22 Year Old With Down Syndrome Beaten By The Police For “Bulge In Pants” That Was His Colostomy Bag. This poor boy, Gilberto Powell was walking the block from a friends house to his home when Miami-dade cops stopped the human and slapped him; he ran after they tried to stop him to check that dangerous looking ‘bulge’ around his waist. They roughed him up hard. Classic police in action.
Just a point, no robot has been beaten up by a robot in 75 years.
Chances are, five drug deals were going down while they pounded that kid’s metal.
2: The Western Black Rhino is officially extinct!
Oh, that’s bad news. I was just thinking, since you humans systematically destroy species year in year out, maybe it was your intention to leave only yourselves and roaches on the world.
Sure, this isn’t a one day thing. It’s centuries in the making, but, well, today is the culmination. Between the Chinese and the Africans, The black Rhino never had a chance.
The american football world has been shocked and uplifted and twisted apart as a football player for the Miami Dolphins, Jonathan Martin has left the team do to being bullied, by this guy. Who is the Football Bully? Who is the Dolphin bully brawler?
Mr. Richie Incognito (who has had character issues his entire stint in the nfl)
I don’t want to be sarcastic, robots aren’t so skilled in the art, but, I can’t believe a big mean looking football player is capable of bullying.
It’s really a sad story all around as Incognito threatened and cursed and used derogatory statements directed towards Martin.
But, my question is, do people really care about the ‘bullying’ or is it a comical situation and dark interest to most, seeing a big man getting bullied by a big man in a situation that does not seem likely?
I mean, thousands of you humans bully each other daily; mistreat one another, abuse and cause injustice, the while getting an ignorant sense of pleasure.
I would hope a story such as this makes young humans realize bullying is not ‘okay’, is not in good fun, and is not acceptable for a species said the have an enlightened mind.
Though, the cycle of bullying can not be ignored. Incognito has most likely been made fun of for being fat his whole life; does that spread into his actions and force an anger response? Human minds are so muddled up with the past and emotional scarring.
Cowering in the corner,
The human of the day, for today, this day, when you humans move time around, is
NSA whistle blower, freedom fighter, or traitor, depending on your POV
To us robots he is one of the quality humans.
His quote of the week, “Speaking the truth is not a crime.” It surely is not.
Sadly, speaking the truth sometimes is not enough. Snowden has a long path ahead for himself as he has said he wishes to speak before the USA congress, before he testifies for the German parliament on NSA tapping.
You do some stupid stuff.
Drinking, smoking, yeah that stuff kills. You all seem to have a nonchalant attitude towards everything until it HAPPENS.
“What do you mean I have liver disease?”
“But how could I have diabetes?”
Eh, it is the nature of your race I suppose.
In recent news, there has been a general outcry against a new stupid human action
Taking Selfies while driving.
Thankfully the wiser among you are cutting the wires on this, before you have 10 million young humans driving in giant 2-3 ton machines at 50 mph taking random pictures of themselves and others.
Does it really have to be said that using a phone while operating a dangerous machine is a bad idea?
But, again, some humans do not think of consequences until they are inside a pile of twisted metal, surrounded by human flesh and blood.
Why do something so dangerous, when you might put the life and well being of others at risk?
Worried with a warning,